My voice is quite low,
My skin, white as snow,
And so thin, you see veins which are blue-ish.
My eyesight is poor
(needing specs since age four)
All that, plus I'm tall and I'm Jewish.

As I went on in years,
I got named by my peers,
Yet the nicknames I had weren't fruity.
"Tall Asshole," "Big Jew,"
"Your Mother," to name a few
But the best one of all, it was "zuty."

Adam Hirsch, my best friend,
sought a name which would blend
with a character who was so vital.
Instead he went nuts,
and he anagrammed "yutz"
thus creating my strange new title.

He left me a note:
"YUTZ --> ZUTY" he wrote.
So you see, my best friend should be blamed.
He invented the term, an' in
time, it was permanent.
And that is how I got named.